Election rant

We are quickly approaching the presidential election. This election isn't so much the lesser of two evils as the lesser of two lessers. I wish I felt differently. I wish I could work up some enthusiasm for Hillary. I am not inspired or encouraged by the possibility of the first female president. 

I feel like a traitor to my gender, realizing at once how important it is as a female to be united behind another female, and how foolish that is. No one would ever say to a man, "Of course you have to support the male candidate - he's a MAN!"

Most people's early political beliefs are shaped by their parents. My father was resolutely apolitical - admitting only once to admiring John Kennedy, and, when asked, saying his favorite president was Abraham Lincoln. My mother was avowedly liberal and worked to elect Bobby Kennedy. 

In 1979, when I was 10 years old, I remember sitting in front of the TV being utterly inspired by the independent campaign of John Anderson. (Google him as John Anderson 1980) I saw him as a true leader - never having a clue that an independent candidate had about as much chance of being named the nominee as I did. 

The overwhelming (often bewildering) popularity of Ronald Reagan during the 1980s gave me sleepless nights, wondering when he'd feel the impulse to press the button and start World War III. 

The Bush years were just a continuation of the Reagan empire. I remember very clearly watching The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and hearing Johnny joke, "If President Bush dies, the Secret Service are under orders to kill Dan Quayle."

When I turned 18 and could legally vote for the first time, I took great advantage of it. I voted in every election - local as well as national. I enjoyed the process. Signing the book and going into the little booth behind the curtain, pulling the levers made me feel like I was participating in democracy. 

When Bill Clinton was running for his first term in 1992, I had a button that read: 'Vote For Hillary's Husband' which I wore quite proudly. 

I remember being on the phone with a friend when Bill Clinton won the election in '92. We were literally screaming and crying with joy. 

To be brutally honest, the sexual behavior of the president (of whichever party) has never concerned me. Everyone has it in them to take advantage of their position - why should the president be any different? If I had a choice, I'd much rather the president have 20 affairs than break into an opponents psychiatrists office (Nixon) illegally supply arms to rebels (Reagan) or start a war against a country based on faulty intelligence reports (GWB). 

 

In an ideal world, the first female candidate for president of the United States would be pristine - a golden idol of experience and wisdom. Of course, this is too high a standard for anyone. 

Somewhere along the line, I lost my excitement. I lost the feeling that my vote counted for anything. I started to feel that "democracy" was a cruel hoax - all an illusion. Maybe it's normal that the passing of years have taken my energy and my enthusiasm

Bottom line - this is a contest between a flawed woman with a trail of questions regarding her behavior, and a dangerously megalomaniacal, xenophobic failed businessman. 

This is not the first election where I've looked at the two candidates and thought, 'Is this really the best we can do?'

I will vote, and, as in previous years, I will hold my nose when I do it.  I so wish I still had the optimism and naïveté of that 10 year old sitting in her living room applauding John Anderson.